Understanding the Confidence Gap: Why Women Hold Back and How to Step Forward

Updated: Apr 19

Have you ever hesitated to apply for a promotion because you didn’t feel “ready”? Or held back from speaking up in a meeting, even though you had a great idea? You’re not alone.

Confidence is often referred to as a key ingredient for success. Yet, research consistently shows that women, even at the highest levels, tend to underestimate their abilities compared to their male counterparts. This phenomenon, often called the confidence gap, leads many capable women to hesitate before applying for promotions, speaking up in meetings, or taking on leadership roles.

Why Confidence Matters

Confidence can significantly influence your career trajectory. It can affect how you present yourself, how others perceive you, and ultimately, your opportunities for advancement. Without confidence, many women may not realise their full potential.

But here’s the good news: confidence is a skill, not an inherent trait - and like any skill, it can be developed. In this post, we’ll explore why women often experience the confidence gap and actionable strategies to bridge it.

Why Does the Confidence Gap Exist?

Several societal and psychological factors contribute to the confidence gap:

Perfectionism: Women often feel they must meet 100% of the criteria before pursuing an opportunity. In contrast, men may apply when they meet just 60%.
Social Conditioning: From an early age, girls are often encouraged to be "nice," while boys are urged to take risks. This conditioning creates disparities in self-perception and motivation.
Fear of Failure: Many women hesitate to put themselves forward due to fears of judgment or the possibility of making mistakes.

How to Close the Confidence Gap & Step into Your Power

Closing the confidence gap is not just about feeling better; it's about taking practical steps to assert your capabilities. Here are strategies to help you bridge the gap:

Reframe Failure as Growth

Failure is not a sign of incompetence; it's a sign of learning. Challenge negative self-talk by viewing setbacks as opportunities to grow. When you perceive failures this way, you become more resilient.

Adopt a "Why Not Me?" Mindset

Instead of questioning whether you’re good enough, ask, "Why NOT me?" If someone else can do it, why not you? Adopting this mindset empowers you to push against self-doubt.

Take Action Before You Feel Ready

Confidence doesn’t come first; action does. Apply for the role, speak up in meetings, or take that leadership opportunity. You need to act before you feel “ready” to initiate change in your confidence levels.

Practice Self-Validation

Instead of waiting for external approval, recognize and celebrate your own achievements. Keeping a "wins journal" can be an excellent practice. Record your successes, big or small, and regularly review them to remind yourself of your capabilities.

Seek Support & Mentorship

Surround yourself with mentors and a network of like-minded women who uplift and encourage you. Supportive peers can help you navigate challenges and build confidence through shared experiences.

Choose Courage Over Comfort

Confidence grows after action, not before. Taking the leap outside your comfort zone may feel daunting, but your confidence will develop as you gain experience in new situations.

Invest in Leadership Coaching

Coaching can accelerate your confidence-building journey. An experienced leadership coach will help you recognise your strengths, shift limiting beliefs and develop a success mindset. Consider finding a coach who resonates with your goals.

Action Steps to Build Confidence

Here are some actionable steps you can take today to start building your confidence:

Set Small Goals: Begin with small, achievable tasks to build your confidence. Every small success will help bolster your belief in your abilities.
Speak Up More Often: Make it a goal to contribute at least once in every meeting. Start with sharing your thoughts on smaller topics, then gradually tackle bigger discussions.
Embrace Imperfection: Accept that perfection is unattainable. Strive for excellence instead, which allows room for mistakes and growth.
Network Actively: Attend networking events and engage with individuals in your field. Building relationships can open doors and provide support.
Educate Yourself: Take online courses or workshops to improve your skills in areas where you feel less confident. Knowledge can empower you to act with certainty.

Understanding the confidence gap - why women hold back and how to step forward - is key to helping women overcome self-doubt.

Remember that bridging the confidence gap isn’t about becoming someone you are not. It is about owning who you already are, recognizing your worth, and confidently stepping into your power.

Ready to Step Outside Your Comfort Zone?

Ready to start stepping outside your comfort zone? Book a FREE clarity call with me today and take the first step toward your personal and professional development goals! Book a Call today!